


Stumble And You May Fall.

by TheMirkyKing



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Thranduil, Cheeky Bard, Eventual Sex, Eventual relationship, M/M, Oral Sex, Sexual Content, dog park, middle school teachers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-05-24 06:14:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6144193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMirkyKing/pseuds/TheMirkyKing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imladris Middle School and Thranduil, the English teacher, can never seem to actually speak to the new history teacher Bard, without looking like a fool.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1.

**Author's Note:**

> A great big THANK YOU my Beta, LoveActuallyFan, your the best!

Thranduil looked up from the papers he was grading upon hearing the muffled laughter of two fellow teachers. He watched them through dark lashes, trying not to eaves drop, except it was hard not to. They were not being very discreet; giggling about the newest history teacher, Bard Bowman. Loud laughter erupted from the ladies. Thranduil huffed and sent them an annoyed look, which did nothing to stop their chatter. It wasn’t their gossip about Mr. Bowman that bothered him. He wished he could join them and share in the chatter about how ruggedly handsome Bard was. He was annoyed because he was hopelessly smitten with the man, and there was no chance in hell that Bard would be interested in him. 

In the six months that Bard had been teaching, their every encounter had been one embarrassing disaster after another. The first had been in the teachers’ lounge. Elrond Peredhil, the principle of Imladris Middle School, had organized a small welcome party for the newest teachers. Elrond had brought Bard over to introduce him to Thranduil, who at that moment had bitten into a rather crumbly cookie. So instead of saying hello, Thranduil coughed and sputtered powdered sugar and cookie all over Bard. Where was a hole to disappear into when he needed one? To Bard’s credit he had simply dusted himself off and grinned. Elrond had quickly lead Bard away to meet the other teachers. Thorin Oakenshield, the geology teacher, wore an evil smile at Thranduil’s discomfort. Tauriel, the PE teacher (and the only teacher he actually could call a friend) simply shook her head in dismay. 

There was the day in the cafeteria. Hearing his name called out, Thranduil turned and smacked into Bard and his tray of spaghetti, covering him in noodles and sauce. Thranduil had clumsily tried to clean it off and Bard had endured it with a bemused smile on his face. Thranduil had babbled apologies until Bard reached out and gripped his upper arm, squeezing it gently, telling him it was fine. Thranduil had hurried away, face burning with embarrassment. Or the time he had run into him again, spilling papers and books over the hallway, much to the amusement of the students. Like a bad comedy, they both bent to retrieve their things and clunked heads. As before, Bard reached out to steady him, a lopsided smile on his face. 

The final straw for Thranduil came when Tauriel talked him into coming with her and the other teachers for happy hour. Bard was there and the evening was going well. The loud music made talking difficult, which was just fine with Thranduil. He was not the best at socializing, so he was mostly talking to Tauriel. Thranduil had been enjoying his wine, maybe a little too much wine, happily watching Bard. Of course it was when he shouted to Tauriel that he thought Bard was simply the hottest man he had ever laid eyes on, when the music dropped. Bard had choked on his drink and Thranduil found he needed to be somewhere, anywhere, right now! What made it worse was Bard was always so understanding and kind to him - then again Bard was kind to everyone! Since that night, Thranduil avoided Bard like the plague; tired of looking like a bumbling fool in front of him.

Thranduil sighed and gathered up his papers; he couldn’t listen to any more whispering about Bard. It made him ache for something that would never be. Currently they were speculating about Bard and Thorin. When Susan the Math teacher had asked Bard out, he had not been shy about his sexual orientation. Thorin had been just as open as well. Once every single female teacher found out that Bard was no longer up for grabs, they naturally gossiped on whether Bard and Thorin were a ‘item’. He really hoped that wasn’t the case. Thranduil’s own sexual preferences had never been discussed or asked. Most people found him cold and aloof. He really wasn’t, but he found it difficult to open up others. 

He had been a shy child and that had not changed in adulthood. He still thought of himself as the too-tall, gangly, awkward boy. His almost white blonde hair, pale icy blue eyes and dark brows had caused a lot teasing from the other boys. He was also extremely self-conscious of the scars that marred the left side of his body, the result of a pot of hot oiling spilling on him. He had been lucky, it had missed most of his face, but there were still traces by his ear and down his neck. His chest and arm bore the worse scaring. He had let his hair grow long so he could let it fall loose to hide the scars on his ear and jaw. He had grown into his height (long, lean and well-toned) but deep down, he was still that little boy. 

He found it easier to let others think of him as snobby rather than actually having to try to talk to them. Tauriel often told him that his social filter was off. It was true. Thranduil often said the wrong things at the wrong time, especially when he was uncomfortable - which was almost always. It had surprised his family when he had gone into teaching. He had always loved literature and language so it was a natural fit becoming an English teacher. While he was ill at ease with his peers, he was confident and in control around his students. He didn’t have to be social with them, he just had to guide them and teach. He may not be the most popular teacher; nevertheless he was respected and good at his job. 

Thranduil sighed as he closed the door to his condo, glad that the weekend was here. Nothing planned, just him and… Excited barking from the small backyard had him tossing his keys and bag onto the hallway table and hurryed down to the main living area to let in his dog. A brindled body hurled itself at him. Thranduil laughed as huge hoary paws planted themselves on his chest. Aramis gambolled around, excited that “daddy” was home. He pranced into the kitchen and turned his boxy head to Thranduil, waiting for his treat. Thranduil grinned as Aramis sat, looking up at him with expectant eyes, one ear pricked upright, the other flopping down, and that one tooth which always stuck out. His whip thin tail thumped on the hardwood. Thranduil grabbed a doggy treat and tossed it to him. Aramis promptly took it to his bed and devoured it. 

Thranduil had not wanted a dog; they were messy, loud and just about the best thing in the world. He had been furious when his little brother, Legolas, had dropped the dog off. 

“Just take care of him for the weekend,” Legolas begged. 

Well, the weekend had turned into always and he wouldn’t change a thing. He adored Aramis. Tauriel teased him that he loved his dog more than any of his infrequent boyfriends. Thranduil had muttered that Aramis never let him down and was always there for him. Thranduil went over and leaned down, catching Aramis’ head in his hands, and rubbed his ears. 

“Just got a few things to do and then we’ll go for walkies,” he promised. Aramis’ tail thumped. He knew the routine. Thranduil put the kettle on, grabbed a travel mug and dropped a bag of Earl Grey into it. He then went down the hall to his room to change out of his suit into jeans, a long sleeved turtleneck and a bulky cable-knitted sweater. He un-braided his hair and combed it out. Done with changing and waiting for the water to boil, he went into the spare bedroom, which he had made into a home office/library. 

He went over to the desk and checked his computer. Nothing he couldn’t ignore; Legolas sending him a goofy blog and their father recommending some books to read. His phone beeped and he saw a text from Tauriel, asking him if he wanted to go to the movies with her and Kili. Thranduil texted back that he didn’t feel like seeing a movie or, for that matter, them making out during it. Like the last time. Tauriel sent back a smiley face with a tongue sticking out. He smirked, how she could be dating Oakenshield’s nephew was beyond him, but at least Kili was more pleasant than Thorin. 

The kettle whistled, signalled ‘walkies’. Thranduil went into the kitchen and poured the hot water into his cup and, while the tea seeped, he pulled on his thick wool jacket, wrapped a scarf around his neck and donned a black beanie cap. Aramis whined at the front door, impatient to get going.

“Yes, yes, we’ll go in a minute!” Thranduil called out. After fixing his tea to his liking, went down the hall and fished his keys from the bowl on the hall table and clicked on Aramis’s leash. Upon opening the door was practically yanked out. He was happy the dog park was only two blocks from his place. It was cold and wet. Spring wasn’t in full swing so it wouldn’t take long for it to get dark. No matter what the weather, Thranduil always took Aramis for a walk. Once they got to the park, Thranduil took the leash off and flung the ball he brought for Aramis to chase.

Thranduil followed after Aramis, watching him disappear over the crest of the hill. Thranduil hoped he hadn’t flung the ball too far. There was a small stream at the base of the hill and Aramis would plough through the anything to reach his ball. Thranduil whistled, which would normally bring him running back. Thranduil frowned when he didn’t come. He whistled again, still no blundering form. Thranduil picked up his pace, worried that maybe he had gotten into some sort of trouble. He felt relief and annoyance when he crested the hill to see that Aramis had been distracted by a small black and tan terrier and its owner. 

Aramis was in the classic “play with me pose”; tail wagging in delight. Thranduil shook his head at his dog’s submissive behaviour to the smaller dog. Granted it was a terrier, they tended to be pretty dominant dogs. Luckily for everyone they came in such small bodies. Thranduil moved down the hill towards the man and his dog. As he came closer Aramis came bounding over and around him, and then back to the little dog that pranced back at his clumsy advances. 

“I hope my dog hasn’t been bothering you, I know he’s…” Thranduil began, but when the man turned towards him, crooked smile playing on his lips, the rest of his apology faltered. Bard smiled that smile which always sent a thrill of desire course thru Thranduil.

“So this big goofball belongs to you?” Bard laughed. Thranduil nodded, glad for the cold; it was a good excuse for the flush that bloomed on his cheeks. Bard looked exceptionally handsome in the gathering twilight. His dark, wavy hair was hidden under a black wool cap, but wisps of it still peaked out from underneath it. A black scarf was wrapped around his neck; a dark blue pea-coat wrapped about his body, black jeans and boots. Thranduil was painfully aware of how attractive he was. Instead gazing in longing at Bard, he focused on the little dog around Bard’s feet, who was eyeing Aramis with what could only call distain. 

“Umm… is that dog yours… or are… you… ya’ know… sitting for…” he trailed off at the bemused look Bard gave him. What the hell was wrong with him? How hard was it to talk to someone?

“Wow, Thranduil, you’re really bad at small talk.” Bard chuckled, shaking his head. “And yes, this is my dog, Jenny.” Bard glanced down at the little dog; a loving smile on his lips. 

“She’s pretty cute, an Airedale?” Thranduil enquired.

“Yep!” Bard confirmed. “And what’s this big guy’s name?” He asked as he bent down to pick up the tennis ball Aramis had forgotten in his attempts to impress Jenny.

“Aramis,” Thranduil replied, happy to be discussing his dog. “I hope he hasn’t hurt her, he doesn’t always play gently.” He shot Bard a worried glance, realizing it came out sounding like his dog was mean. “He’s actually very sweet and gentle…” Bard nodded at Thranduil.

“Oh, I can tell he is and don’t worry, Jenny is quite capable of taking care of herself as well as defending me!” He replied and lobbed the tennis ball across the stream. Thranduil groaned, knowing what would happen. Jenny sprang over the stream like it wasn’t even there, while Aramis ploughed directly through it. Bard gave Thranduil a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I didn’t think he would go into the water.”

Thranduil shrugged. “I love him, but he isn’t the smartest dog in the world.” They both watched as Jenny reached the ball and was already on the way back with it, easily avoiding Aramis as he went ass-over-head to follow her. Again, she leapt over the water and dropped the ball at Bard’s feet, jumping about them like she had springs in her legs. He grinned at Thranduil and went to pick up the ball to throw it again. The sound of splashing water drew Thranduil’s attention, and he shouted “Stay,” but Aramis bounded up to Bard and promptly planted wet and muddy paws on his chest, sending him sprawling onto the ground. 

Thranduil rushed over to Bard, grabbing Aramis’s collar to pull him off, and in the process spilled half his tea over Bard. Thranduil stepped back, eyes wide in shock, waiting for Bard’s reaction. Bard’s shoulders shook and when he looked up, Thranduil was relieved that he was laughing silently. Thranduil pressed his lips together, trying not to join in. Bard extended his muddy hand for Thanduil to help him up. Thranduil snickered as he pulled Bard up.

“Well….at least your tea was warm!” Bard declared as he shook his hands to rid them of mud, swiping half-heartedly at his jacket. Thranduil quickly leashed Aramis to keep him off of Bard. “I think I had better head home before something else goes awry.” 

Thranduil felt terrible. Could he ever have a normal interaction with this man? Bard leashed Jenny and, as he went to say something, Thranduil blurted out, “My place is only two blocks away. You could clean up there.” Thranduil held his breath, surprised that he had suggested it. 

Bard stared in surprise, before smiling softly at him, “Okay, that would be great.” 

Thranduil let his breath out and smiled back. He felt the flutter in his stomach again as he lead the way back to his place. He kept glancing over at Bard, worrying about what else could go wrong. He quickly ran over every worse-case scenario that could happen and decided that it was worth it, he would take a chance. Maybe, just maybe, he could avoid looking like a total idiot in his own home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thranduil has asked Bard back to his place. Now comes the hard part: overcoming his habit of freezing up around Bard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to the wonderful LoveActuallyFan for being my beta!

Thranduil opened the door to his condo and gestured for Bard to enter. Thranduil grabbed a couple of tea towels from the table in the hallway and handed one to Bard. He bent down to wipe Aramis’ muddy paws and chest, removing his leash and letting him go before straightening. He kicked his shoes off and tossed the dirty towel in a wicker basket by the table. Bard smiled as Thranduil did all this; he could tell that this was a daily routine. Bard followed Thranduil’s example and then shooed Jenny after Aramis. Thranduil took off his coat and scarf and watched as Bard brushed dejectedly at his coat and pants with the towel. 

“If you like, you can borrow something of mine and I can throw your clothes in the wash.” Thranduil surprised himself by offering but was glad when Bard’s face lit up at the suggestion. 

“Really?” Bard queried. “That would be great! Could I talk you into a cup of tea too? Perhaps in a mug this time?” Bard ribbed, winking at Thranduil, who flushed in embarrassment but nodded.

Bard glanced at the pictures on the wall as they walked down the hall. Bard pointed at a family picture, one in which Thranduil was smiling at a man who looked just like him.

“Wow, you really take after your father!” Bard exclaimed. Thranduil shrugged. Bard glanced at another picture, seeing a boy that resembled Thranduil but with darker blonde hair. “Your brother, I take it?” He teased, knowing it had to be. 

“Yah, my little brother, Legolas, he got mom’s beautiful golden hair and normal eyebrows!” He replied dryly. Bard frowned at him.

“Oh I don’t know. You’re pretty striking with those dark brows and silvery hair,” Bard complemented. Thranduil’s flush deepened at Bard’s statement. Bard noticed in many of the pictures Thranduil had his left side of his body turned away. He had wondered how Thranduil had been scarred. “Do you mind if I ask…” He didn’t even finish, Thranduil knew what he was asking.

Thranduil glanced at one of the pictures. In it he must have been ten at the time and Legolas four. Thranduil was not smiling, his face turned away from the camera, hiding the angry scars; focussing on his mother who was smiling down at her beloved son. It was the last formal family picture taken; his mother died shortly after, killed by a drunk driver. Thranduil could still remember sitting for that picture. He hadn’t wanted to, but she had persisted until he relented. 

“Now Thranduil, you mustn’t be so shy, you are a handsome boy. Those scars will fade, don’t worry so much,” She had said as she hugged him and wiped away the tears. He looked at it in shame; he should have swallowed his distress, smiled and faced the camera boldly. Bard noticed that the little Thranduil was decidedly unhappy in it. Bard glanced at Thranduil, who was frowning at the picture.

Thranduil gave a small shudder and exhaling replied, “A pot of boiling oil; my mother was making fried chicken. I was trying to climb up on the counter to get into the cupboard. I wanted a candy bar that was in there and oops! Clumsy me, I slipped and knocked the pot over all over myself.” Bard stared at Thranduil, brows drawn together in unease. 

Thranduil smiled sadly, “Never really liked fried foods after that.” Bard grimaced. Thranduil sighed and moved away, why did he say that? “Sorry, my poor attempt of humour.” 

“It’s okay, sometimes a bad joke helps and that was a pretty bad one.” Bard said pulling a face of mock horror. Thranduil snorted and moved down the hall with Bard following. At the end of the hallway, ran a parallel hallway to what he assumed were bedrooms and bathrooms. To their left, an open living room, kitchen and informal dining room. 

Thranduil gestured around, shrugged and said, “Home sweet home.” Bard smiled, he liked Thranduil’s place. Bard was rather surprised at it really. He had expected it to be all cold and modern. Instead it was warm and cosy with earthy browns, burnt oranges, and deep reds. Dark cherry wood floors shone with a soft glow, cream walls sported various watercolour paintings of wildlife and woods. Bard noticed that almost all the doors down the hallway were French; framed in black instead of the traditional white. Overall he liked how Thranduil had decorated his home.

Bard nodded in approval. “Very nice, but how about those clothes you promised?” Bard inquired, gesturing at his muddy clothes, the reason why he was currently in Thranduil home. 

“Of course, sorry, sorry…” Thranduil stammered, motioning for Bard to follow him down the hall. Bard shook his head; Thranduil was always apologizing when he really didn’t need too. Thranduil showed him to the bathroom. 

“You can change in here. I’ll just go grab those clothes for you. I’ll be right back.” He said as he hastily departed, disappearing through the French doors at the end of the hall. 

Bard took off his jacket and dropped his pants, and had just pulled off his shirt when Thranduil knocked on the door. Bard called out to enter. Thranduil opened the door to find Bard in blue boxers and a black tank shirt. Thranduil couldn’t help looking Bard up and down, taking in his tanned, sinewy body, muscular arms that sported what looked like a dragon tattoo, slim hips and waist, and almost dropped the clothes he had brought Bard. 

Bard struggled to not openly grin at Thranduil’s reaction. Instead he leaned over to pick up his dirty clothes. He may have stayed bent over longer than was necessary before straightening and turning to Thranduil, trading the dirty ones for the clean ones Thranduil held in his hands. Thranduil closed the door behind him and leaned against it, swallowing hard. He really could have gone without seeing Bard almost naked, not that he hadn’t liked what he saw. Thranduil groaned and slid open the closet door to the washer/dryer. He threw Bard’s clothes into the washer and started it. Bard opened the door to the bathroom and Thranduil turned and smiled brightly, hoping that it would defray his obvious ogling. 

“So, how about that cuppa?” Bard asked. Thranduil moved down the hall to the living room and kitchen. Thranduil went over to the stove and Bard leaned against the counter, a slight smile on his lips, watching Thranduil fuss with the kettle. 

Thranduil paused at the burner and glanced over at him asked, “How about something stronger then tea?” 

Bard gave him a calculating look before replying “What did you have in mind?” 

“I was thinking… some wine?” Thranduil posed.

Bard pondered the offer and then, with a sly smile, said, “Are you sure? I seem to recall the last time you had wine…” He left the rest unsaid. Thranduil rolled his eyes; why would he bring up that embarrassing night? 

“Honestly Bard, how would Thorin feel about you bringing that up?” Thranduil demanded.

Bard gave Thranduil a puzzled look, “Why would Thorin care?” 

Thranduil was suddenly unsure. “Well….well because you two are together,” he stammered.

Bard stared at Thranduil in astonishment before breaking into a chuckle. “Wait… wait… are you telling me you believe what all those hens are saying about Thorin and I?” 

Thranduil bit his lip and nodded. Bard’s chuckle turned into a fit of laughter. Thranduil stared at Bard in surprise. Bard got himself under control, heaved a sigh and shook his head.

“I’m not his type actually. He prefers a smaller… stockier man.” Bard fixed Thranduil with a knowing look. Thranduil gasped, his eyes widening in disbelief.

“You can’t mean…” Thranduil said in utter amazement. “Bilbo Baggins?!”

Bilbo was a roly-poly little man who taught home economics. He liked Bilbo immensely; he was one of the few teachers Thranduil was comfortable around. Thranduil pulled a bottle of wine, opened it and poured them both a glass, handing Bard one while waiting for an explanation. Thranduil was little dumbfounded - Thorin Oakenshield and Bilbo Baggins!

“Yep!” Bard grinned and winked at Thranduil, “But don’t tell anyone, Thorin wants to keep it on the down-low for now.” 

“But why wouldn’t he want anyone to know?” Thranduil questioned. He couldn’t understand why Thorin wouldn’t want their relationship out and in the open.

“Thorin says it’s because they just started seeing each other and really doesn’t want all the scrutiny and gossip that they’d come under at school.” Bard shrugged, Thranduil snorted at this explanation as he took a sip of his wine. Bard arched an eyebrow at Thranduil’s reaction.

“Oh really? _You_ believed Thorin and I were an item…” He drawled, giving Thranduil a significant look. 

Thranduil opened his mouth, trying to come up with a good response. Instead, he settled for sipping again from his glass; mind awhirl with the fact that Bard and Thorin were _not_ an item. Bard watched him, a half smile on his lips as he raised his glass to drink as well. 

He was rather enjoying seeing Thranduil flustered. Despite their many awkward interactions, Bard had been smitten with Thranduil the minute he had showered him in powdered sugar. He hadn’t been sure if Thranduil was attracted to him or not, the man was so reserved and aloof. The night at the bar had confirmed Thranduil’s attraction. Since that night, Bard had tried to interact with Thranduil at school, but he was slippery as an eel. Every time he tried to approach him, Thranduil would find a way to avoid him or quickly move on. 

Bard had finally gone to Tauriel to enlist her help. She was the one person at the school whom Thranduil seemed to have an actual friendship with. He questioned her at every opportunity about Thranduil’s likes, hobbies, what he did in his free time, etc.… without much result. Tauriel had finally quipped that he was being very “stalker-ish”. 

“I wouldn’t ask if I could talk with him directly, but he seems to be avoiding me!” Bard huffed in annoyance. 

Tauriel mulled over what he had said before replying. “I don’t know…..” She turned and pinned him with her best disapproving teacher look, arms crossed and legs planted in a wide stance. 

“Thranduil is my friend and you seem like a …...” She trailed off. 

“Like what?” Bard demanded.

“I know Thranduil seems cold and aloof but he is very sweet and I’m not sure a bounder like you would be good for him.” She divulged.

“A bounder!?” Bard exclaimed, jaw dropping in shock. Tauriel fixed him with a raised eyebrow and nodded.

“Yes a bounder! You are a shameless flirt and I don’t want to see him hurt.” 

Bard exhaled, gathering his thoughts. He was a flirt; that was true, but it was all in fun. He wouldn’t pretend otherwise. He nodded at Tauriel.

“Okay, I am a flirt and I always will be. I can’t change who I am and I wouldn’t want too. It's part of my charm.” Bard laughed and Tauriel snorted at that statement. 

“I’m not looking for a fling Tauriel.” He said soberly. Her eyes narrowed as she gauged weither to believe him. “I really like him. I’m just asking for a bit of help so I can get to know him.” He pleaded. 

Tauriel sighed. Bard sentiment seemed genuine. Bard could be just want Thranduil needed. Someone who could spice up his hum-drum life. Still, she wasn’t going to breach Thranduil’s privacy. Bard needed to prove his intent was honest. A devilish smile spread on her face.

“Okay, lover boy.” She purred. Bard drew back, feeling uncertain at the look she gave him. “He has a dog and he walks him every day, rain or shine.” 

Bard questioned her where Thranduil took him, but she only gave him a coquettish smile. 

“You have to figure that out all on your own!” She chortled. She wasn’t going to let this “Casanova” off so easily. If he wanted her friend as much he claimed; then a little effort on his part, shouldn’t be a problem for him. 

Bard wanted to throttle her. Why did women have to be so infuriating? All he was asking for was some information about Thranduil. How hard was that to do? But the look on Tauriel’s face made him back off. No need to rile her up. She was the only key to Thranduil he had. She had finally given him a clue to Thranduil’s personal life. Plus, Bard realized, he may have to go back to her with hat in hand to wean more information out of her. 

So with Jenny in tow, he had gone to all the local dog parks for the last month, hoping to run into Thranduil.

Tonight had finally paid off, and it was going pretty much the way every interaction between them had gone. Thranduil was nothing if consistent! He hoped it would go the way of his fantasies instead. Glancing over at Thranduil, face flushed, sipping his wine; maybe it would go the way of his dreams, after all. Bard decided that he would let Thranduil off the hook. He didn’t want Thranduil to tense up and end up kick him out because he was uncomfortable over that night in the bar.

“So what wild plans did you have for tonight before Jenny and I interrupted them?” Bard asked lightly, changing the subject, as he leaning back against the counter.

Thranduil thought about saying he was going out, but what was the point? Why lie? Might as well come clean here and now; his life was pretty boring. Thranduil leaned against the fridge and shrugged. 

“Well if you consider opening some wine,” he tipped his glass at Bard, who grinned and tipped his own glass back. “Starting a fire, feeding the dog, ordering a pizza, changing into PJ’s, and then loafing on the couch while binge watching TV, your idea of a wild night, then I’m your man.”

Bard played with his glass before looking over at him. He could tell that Thranduil expected him to scoff; instead he grinned and said, “What kind of pizza?”

Thranduil stared at Bard in surprise before saying, “A large sausage, pepperoni, onions, mushrooms and olives.”

“Make it extra mushrooms and I’ll go halvies with you,” Bard proposed, “I’ll even make the fire in exchange for a bowl of kibble for Jenny.” Thranduil felt a rush of excitement that Bard actually wanted to stay. 

“It’s a deal!” Thranduil exclaimed as he moved forward to clink his glass with Bard’s. Thranduil grabbed his phone and ordered the pizza. Bard moved into living room and to the fireplace. An old brass washer bin held wood and another metal bin; old newspaper, matches and kindling.

“There’s more wood out on the deck,” Thranduil told him, “I’ll go check on your clothes and, umm… change.” Bard gave him an absent wave, busy with the fire. 

Thranduil grabbed Bard’s clothes out of the washer and threw them into the dryer, and then hurried to his room. Shutting the door, he scanned his room, biting his lip in worry. His room was tidy, like the rest of his house. But here he allowed himself to be a bit more relaxed. His bed was only roughly made. Along with a “ton” of pillows were his two childhood plush animals that he could never part with, an elk and a dragon. As he stood there staring at his bed; he felt a moment of panic. He grabbed the plush animals and moved to throw them in the walk-in closet. He paused and hugged them and placed them back on the bed. Nothing was going to happen, so why bother? He did straighten the pillows and comforter though. 

He pulled his PJs from under one pillow and groaned. There was no way he was going to wear his normal gear; an old concert tee-shirt, baggy hoody and striped cotton pyjama bottoms. He went to the closet, tossed the clothes in the hamper and pulled out the “classic” men’s pyjama set that his father had gotten him for Christmas last year, along with the matching robe. He stripped and pulled on the bottoms and top. They were charcoal grey with orange pinstripes and orange piping. He scanned himself in the mirror. Maybe a bit old fashioned, but he thought he looked rather good in them. He toyed with his hair, not sure if he wanted to leave it down or up. With a huff, he let it stay loose. He put on the robe and left the closet. He paused at his bedroom door, took a deep breath in hopes it would steady his nerves and then exhaling, exited his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Drop me a line and let me know what ya thought. Comments and kudos always make my day!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thranduil and Bard share more that pizza as the evening progresses. But with all things involving Thranduil, will it go as smoothly as he hopes?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does get a bit sexually explict. 
> 
> Once again, thank you to my lovely beta- LoveActuallyFan.

The fire was going and Thranduil was rather pleased to find Bard in the kitchen. Bard did a double take when Thranduil appeared. Damn, the man was gorgeous! Thranduil played with the belt of his robe, feeling shy at the look Bard gave him. Bard went back to the salad he was fixing.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I thought a salad would be good with the pizza.” He explained. Thranduil nodded, surprised but happy that Bard felt comfortable enough to do that. 

“I hope you fed the dogs too!” Thranduil teased and reached over to snatch a cherry tomato, popping it into his mouth. Bard slapped at him, laughing. Thranduil grinned and ducked away.

“I would have but I wasn’t sure how much you feed him.” Bard countered. Thranduil opened a cupboard pulled out a bag of dog food and then went around the dining room table to pick up Aramis’s bowl. From his doggy bed in the living room, Aramis jumped up and trotted into the kitchen, tail wagging lazily. Bard looked over to Jenny, who had stayed on the doggy bed, but he could see her eager interest. 

“Come on Jenny, Thran is going to give you a bowl too!” He chuckled as she bounded over to him. Bard grinned at Thranduil, noticing the strange look on his face.

Thranduil started when he heard Bard call him “Thran”. Bard had said it so casually, and it sounded so right coming from him. Thranduil opened another cupboard, found a bowl for Jenny and scooped out kibble for both dogs. He took the bowl back to the dining room, placing them on a mat by the doors. Both dogs pounced on the food. Thranduil shook his head, they acted like they had never been fed!

The doorbell rang and Thranduil moved to answer it but Bard darted past him.

“Hey!” Thranduil yelped and chased after. Bard made it to the door first, both men laughing and pushing each other to open the door. Thranduil grabbed Bard by the shirt and tried to pull him away, but Bard twisted, almost coming out of the shirt to open the door. The delivery guy jumped at the sudden opened door and at the two men, who were struggling and laughing. Thranduil relented and held out his hand for the pizza, and putting it on the hall table, went to grab his wallet. But Bard already had money out and handed it over to the guy, who smiled and left. Thranduil’s mouth dropped as Bard grabbed the pizza and moved back to the kitchen. 

“Bard!” He exclaimed, following after, “I thought we were going halvies?” 

Bard shrugged and said, “You can pay for it next time.” Thranduil swallowed hard at the thrill that stirred in his stomach, at the possibility of what Bard had just said. Each made up a plate and Thranduil grabbed the wine and Bard the pizza and they went into the living room. Bard flopped down on one end of the sofa and Thranduil the other. The pizza and wine were placed on the coffee table before them.

“So what are we watching?” Bard asked as Thranduil turned on the TV. 

“Walking Dead?” Thranduil proposed. He was a season behind and wanted to catch up, but it wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea.

“Great!” Bard exclaimed and settled into the couch. Thranduil relaxed and they both tucked into their food. Soon they were cringing and a few times Thranduil even caught Bard jumping at certain scenes. The pizza was consumed, as was the wine. Thranduil had never felt this comfortable with someone in a long time. Or so fast. He was happy that the evening was going as well as it was. He poured the last few drops of wine into Bard’s glass, suddenly aware of how close Bard was. When had that happened? 

Thranduil smiled shyly and moved to get up to get another bottle of wine. As he got up, his feet tangled in the throw blanket and he stumbled and fell onto Bard. Both stared at each other in surprise. Thranduil began to babble, “I’m so sorry Bard,” as he pushed himself up and away, when Bard’s arms slipped around him, pulling him closer. 

“I’m not,” Bard purred, “I’ve wanted you in my arms all night.” 

Thranduil’s eyes widened and then he laughed. He couldn’t help himself; couldn’t believe Bard had actually said that. Bard regarded him with disbelief. Thranduil shook his head, but the giggles wouldn’t stop. Bard found himself slowly smiling too.

“Okay, okay, that was a cheesy line, but I still meant it.” Bard said as he reached up to brush the long strands of Thranduil’s hair behind his ear. 

Thranduil held his breath, all laughter gone as Bard leaned up to lightly kiss him. Bard smiled gently as he continued to run his fingers through Thranduil’s hair. Thranduil moved forward and kissed Bard back, this time stronger. Thranduil felt Bard’s hand on the small of his back press him closer. Thranduil broke the kiss and Bard made a small noise of protest. Thranduil pushed himself off of Bard. Bard frowned but Thranduil simply lay back on the couch and motioned for Bard to join him. Bard happily stretched out on top of him, Thranduil’s arms circling his back and waist. 

This time when Bard kissed him, Thranduil’s tongue darted out to flick at Bard’s lips, demanding to taste him. Their mouths parted, tongues danced across each other’s. Thranduil moaned as Bard’s mouth traced along his jaw to nibble on his right ear. Bard once more claimed Thranduil’s mouth, tongue plunging deep as Thranduil sucked it in. 

A cold, wet nose brought them both around. Aramis had come to investigate the strange noises his master was making. Thranduil laughed at the look on his dog’s face. Aramis wagged his tail and whined softly. Thranduil reached out and stroked his ears.

“I’m alright boy,” Thranduil said. Bard bit at Thranduil’s neck gently, chuckling. 

“What do you say we take this to the bedroom, away from prying noses?” He proposed. Thranduil paused in caressing Bard’s back. Bard shifted to look at Thranduil, he seemed surprised that Bard suggested it. Thranduil swallowed and nodded. 

“Are you sure?” Bard asked. While it was what he wanted, he didn’t want Thranduil to do anything he wasn’t ready to do. 

“Yes.” Thranduil replied, kissing him.

Bard gave him a few more kisses before getting up and helping Thranduil to his feet. They walked down the hall to the bedroom, though Bard stopped them often, pressing Thranduil up against the wall to kiss him passionately. They finally made it to the bedroom, and Thranduil bit his lip as he watched Bard approach the bed; eyeing the plush animals on it. Damn it, he should have hid them. Bard turned to Thranduil, smiling playfully.

“You don’t mind them watching?” He teased. 

Thranduil snorted and grabbed them from the bed and took them into the walk in closet. Bard suppressed a smile. Thranduil was adorable: plushies! Bard sat down on the edge of the bed and as Thranduil came back, caught him by the hips. Thranduil looked down as Bard smiled up at him, undoing the belt of Thranduil’s robe and sliding his hands on his hips. His thumbs caressed the skin above the waist band of the pyjama bottoms. Thranduil’s hands rested on Bard’s shoulders, kneading them gently. 

“Tell me what you want,” Bard said softly. Thranduil was both thrilled and scared. He wanted to be with Bard so much, yet he was nervous about the scars that ran over his body. Bard began to slide his hands up underneath Thranduil’s shirt, causing him to stiffen. Bard glanced up at him, worried that he was over stepping. 

“It’s okay…” Bard began, but Thranduil placed his finger on Bard’s lips to stop him, and shook his head. 

The flush on Thranduil’s cheeks was from more than desire. How many times had he heard a man say they were okay with his scars, yet when they saw them… the look of revulsion on their face. Thranduil couldn’t bear to see that same look on Bard’s. Better to not go any further, better to see the look of disappointment then the other. 

“Bard...” Thranduil began, struggling to say that he wanted him so much. 

“Hey,” Bard whispered, stroking his thumbs on Thranduil’s hip bones. “It’s okay Thran, if you don’t want to me to touch you there. There are plenty of other areas that I want to touch.” 

“Like, those beautiful legs of yours, your back, your ass, your…” His hand slid from Thranduil’s waist to squeeze his cock through the fabric of Thranduil’s PJs, causing him to gasp. 

“So, what do you want?” Bard asked again. 

Thranduil couldn’t speak. He was enjoying Bard’s touch so much. Bard brushed his nose against the top of the waist band and unbuttoned the top a bit to expose the taut skin of Thranduil’s stomach. He glanced up at Thranduil to make sure that he was comfortable. Thranduil’s eyes were closed, a faint smile on his lips. Bard hummed happily as he kissed the smooth skin, licking up to his belly button. Thranduil’s hand curled up into his hair. God, Bard had the softest hair, just as he had imaged it would be. Thranduil twirled a lock around his finger.

Bard kissed his way to Thranduil’s groin and mouthed it through the fabric. Bard pulled back, Thranduil’s eyes flew open at the loss of contact. Bard quickly yanked off the borrowed hoodie and leaned back so Thranduil could gaze at him. Thranduil’s eyes devoured his body, wanting to see more. Bard smirked as his hand slid down his stomach and hooked his thumb under the waist band. Thranduil found his hands joining Bard’s to rid him of his bottoms. Thranduil straightened and took in Bard’s lean, muscular form. His cock was thick and long, the head already slick with pre-cum, and Bard bit his lip and gripped his cock, stroking it slowly. 

“Do you like to watch?” Bard asked, “Do you want to watch me jerk off?” Thranduil blushed at Bard’s words. “Do you want me to fuck myself?” Thranduil shook his head, while that sounded dirty and sexy, right now he wanted, well he wanted...

“Tell me what you want, Thran,” Bard pressed while stroking himself. 

Thranduil had never been a dirty talker. He wasn’t the best talker even in normal situations and dirty talk was something he was even worse at. Bard became aware of Thranduil’s discomfort. He sat up and slid back to the edge of the bed to wrap his arms around Thranduil’s waist, hugging him to his chest. 

“Hey!” Bard exclaimed. “I meant it Thran. If you’re not comfortable with anything just tell me.” Bard realized that he would have to go easy with Thranduil.

“If you don’t like dirty talking, then I won’t do it.” 

Thranduil’s breath caught. Bard meant every word. Thranduil reached out and slid his fingers over Bard’s cheek to his lips. Bard kissed the tips gently. Bard smiled up at him.

“I enjoy talking dirty but it’s not like I need to.” Bard assured him. 

Thranduil bit his lip and tentatively said, “I want…” He swallowed, unused to expressing his desires to a lover. “I want your mouth on me.” 

Bard grinned; once again, Thranduil was proving to be an unexpected delight. 

“Ask and you shall receive!” Bard piped and tugged Thranduil’s pyjama bottoms down. He chuckled as they caught on Thranduil’s erection.

“Well, hello big boy!” Bard exclaimed, looking up to see Thranduil blush deepen. 

“I think I’m in love!” Bard pronounced. Thranduil scoffed, but it turned into a gasp as Bard sucked the head of his cock into his mouth, quickly deep throating him. Thranduil’s hands gripped Bard’s head, arching himself into his eager mouth. Thranduil moaned wantonly as Bard sucked and twirled his tongue over the head and plunged back down, nose almost touching the base of his prick. Bard loved deep throating, and Thranduil began to buck into his mouth as Bard’s hand caressed his ass, fingers sliding down to gently press at his tight hole. Bard brought his hand back to grip Thran’s hips and pulled back letting go of his cock with a wet pop. 

Thranduil whimpered at the loss of Bard’s skilled mouth and fingers. Bard slid up the bed, beckoning Thranduil to follow. Bard pulled him up to kiss him hard and eagerly.

“I want you,” he panted into Thranduil’s mouth. Thranduil nodded and began to roll onto his stomach when Bard stopped him.

“No, Thran, I… want… you… to… fuck… me,” Bard said, kissing him between each word. Thranduil pulled up in surprise. Bard smiled coyly. “If you’re okay with that, I mean, I’ll be happy to be on top….” 

Thranduil kissed Bard, stopping his words. So few of his past lovers had wanted him that way, more often he was the bottom. The thrill that Bard wanted him to fuck him, well… 

“Ask and you shall receive,” Thranduil cheekily replied.

Bard laughed and nipped at his neck. Thranduil reached over to pull open the nightstand drawer, taking out a bottle of lube. Thranduil’s brows furrowed as he rummaged around, searching for a condom. Bard was kissing and biting Thranduil’s neck, hands running over his ass. Thranduil swore softly. Bard stopped kissing him.

“Everything okay?” He asked as Thranduil moved off the bed.

“Umm, just have to go get… ya know,” Thranduil stammered as he pointed to the bathroom. Bard rested on his elbows, smiling lazily as Thranduil practically jumped off the bed and rushed to the bathroom. Bard lounged back as he listened to Thranduil rummaging through drawers. Bard gave a soft chuckle when he heard Thranduil’s desperate swearing.

“Fuck…fuck…fuckity… fuck… FUCK!” Thranduil stood in the bathroom, clenching at the hem of his pyjama top, contents of drawers strewn about the floor in his search for a condom. How could he not have any? Actually, it wasn’t surprising as he hadn’t had a lover in a year. Still, not one single condom? He sighed and went back to the bedroom. Bard lay on his side, head resting on his hand. 

“Don’t tell me…” Bard began. Thranduil nodded in response, embarrassed beyond measure. He was sure that Bard would be pissed. Instead, Bard laughed and extended his hand to Thranduil. Thranduil smiled and took it, letting Bard pull him down to be kissed. 

Why am I not surprised? Bard thought, as he stroked Thranduil’s face. 

“Don’t worry Thran, next time I’ll come prepared! Besides I know how you can make it up to me!” He said with an evil grin and pushed Thranduil gently down to his aching cock. Which Thranduil was only too happy to lavish attention on. Bard’s hands gripped Thranduil’s head, gasping and arching as Thranduil brought him to release. Bard quickly sat up to kiss Thranduil and pushed him onto his back to reciprocate the pleasure.

They lay there, slightly sweaty and content, arms wrapped about each other. Bard nuzzled Thranduil’s neck, kissing it softly. 

“You’re not so clumsy after all!” Bard murmured into his neck. Thranduil smacked him lightly, both chuckling as they snuggled deeper into the bed and into slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, let me know what you think. :D
> 
> Kudos and comments are so lovely to get!
> 
> Thanks for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Loved to know what you thought of this! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are my milk and warm cookies- wonderful to receive! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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